***Best Therapy****

David Guetta feat. Kid Cudi - Memories (Johnny Labs Lost Memories Mix) by JohnnyLabs

No Iphone/Facebook

 April 11, 2011

It's been very different not having to check my Facebook inbox or text message my friends lately. All of my friends think I'm getting carried away with the idea of reframing from using my I-Phone (locked in my desk) or the idea of not logging into Facebook for these next few days (possibly weeks)...IDK...Most of my friends make excellent points such as the following: they can't contact/ connect with me because my I-Phone is off and it goes straight to my voicemail, my boss won't be able to get a hold of me for any extra shifts, & what if I have an emergency? All stylistic variants for "no communication". My response to their comments is yes, I’ll miss texting you & talking to you over the phone. And yes, I’ll miss all the access I have from the single touch of my finger but there are other treasures in my life that triumph this new ecosystem of electronics & networking that I have centered myself in. I'm talking about the simple things that I have overlooked for years- like reading a book and then falling asleep to this book at the park, (rather then falling asleep to a movie on a couch) or not caring about what time it is- or maybe just taking a drive to the beach because I feel like that’s where I belong or my ‘favorite’-meeting a random girl at the park!-and then thinking about how relevant the moment was J …These are the simple things I’ve neglected. Doing this also has helped me process past and present choices I have made, & to truly reflect on what it is I’m feeling (no more distractions) . Being "Subjective" and "Objective- rather then avoiding it by filling this void with unwarranted actions. I think to myself of all the better and more respectible ways of dealing with my problems-rather then brushing it off with a few shots of Yeager, or partyn. I guess I'm trying to understand these waves & the way they carry me up and down on a daily basis …*-*) And I am choosing to do this alone- because the truth is I have never tried to do this alone- or outsite of a relationship. All my friends have been  supportive, thanks Bro's / Ladies...But on this specific problem I feel like I have to be the one who can lift this weight of pain off my chest. As far as using my Iphone-or Facebook, I really don’t have a specific date or specific day that I want to resume using them. Im sure someday 'll be texting my friends all

over again- just not today or anytime soon. 

Upadte-April 16, 2010,

Today I went to a baby shower/ bbq with family and noticed a beautiful cake in the fridge. This cake had two tiers, was brown, and a bunch of ribbons which gave off good coordination of colors. I was really impressed overall- you can tell the baker of this cake put tons of effort and detail into their work. I didn't stay long enough to get a slice- instead I left home early to do some laundry and to turn on my Iphone for the first time in 6 days. I had 17 voicemails, 28 text messages, and 23 facebook updates status. Sorry Grama I missed your calls and no, I won't be home 3 days ago (lol). It was nice actually text messaging again and just hearing from my closest friends. It was a little annoying vindicating myself to certain people but well worth the explanation of what I have learned so far. The truth is, I'm learning theses 4 things in the now- as stated below...I'm debating tonight if I should continue this...

Update April 19, 2011

3 days of having my iphone/facebook back and I value and appreciate how I can simply contact a friend who’s all the way in San Diego or Sacramento J cant and wont forget the little things I’ve learned. Also, the cake I saw was a real experience at a real BBQ that lead me to a reminisce of days and years, a time when I knew a  baker who was more then just a friend...This reminisce of memories also brought me to a moment of weakness and servitude. I went six days of being alone and happy without both items and all it took was a cake to trigger this empathy of mixed emotions. Felt like I had to get back on my Iphone and contact my closest friends to overcome the lonelyness that settled in.  I'm very proud of myself for realizing my mistakes and "whom" and "what" it is I’m fighting. . And here’s the best part & the good news; I am accepting & learning how to be alone- learning how to also accept these terms the way they are and  happy with whom this lonley guy is becoming. :)

Thngs I've learned so Far :)

*My Love isn't an instrumental value or tool, its a intrinsic value and comes freely & naturally :)*

 (Dont Force It or Rush into it)---wait, could be both....lol

**My bestest friends will always have a way to find me-regardless if they cannot call me**

(Rogan, Nick, Johnny - I was suprised that you guys all drove to my place on separate occasions looking for me)

***Day Six of no 'Iphone/ Facebook is not enough time to measure Change***
( I've realized a few things but not enough yet)

****Mario statement Men are not meant to be alone- that's why God create Eve"****
(helped me realize I shouldn’t isolate myself, but do not believe that woman are here to serve against our lonelyness)

*****Running with No Music and hearing myself breath  was different, now with music again I am twice as rejuvenated and eager to run more & more*****
( rocking with em Red hot chili peppers, Rolling Stones, and the Beatles- a little house music too)

******It's not as bad as you think it is- looking at the bigger picture just makes you see how small your problems really are******

*******Drinking alcohol doesn’t suppress my feelings like it does with most Bro's, its an elicit, a key that brings me to a door I’ve been ignoring...I took myself there again, and am no longer going back...*******


*******Learning to Re-event myself and I am definitely loving the results and what I see in the mirrior :)
(not in a conceded way lol)

24hrs=24 days

paddling forward....


awake I am 
as I follow my river 

to a place I dreamed
from an old photo, from this picture

(nonperishable memories of Newport Beach)

My soul, myself and my few names
paddled into the earth's deep blue veins
deep I dived for answers above
only with a key on my side- nurture my love

I closed my eyes 
as I swammed passed the Dep & pressure
Suddenly the current brings hope inside and tell's me
Daniel "lets bury your treasures"...

years 1st poem

fav. Song today

bleakly day

*2*26*11

2 cards full of memories

Not warm, too bleak and unexposed

Two twined as the third is out of synergy

And all three finally see how things broke

26 times of blissful & amative love described as chemistry

All lead to a wishful mountain top of hugs & one unproven entity

11 miles to a lover’s rush that was sent to me

I followed this path and thought very much this was meant to be

Until I followed and followed this love into the middle of a winter freeze

And this cold wind always blows

All that’s left is a beautiful stem- she was the rose

And a road that ends where this love has froze